Posted by: Justin | May 23, 2013


Imogene BoltAbout 35 years ago, in 1978, my grandpa and my dad’s mom, Imogene Bolt, divorced. It was pretty nasty and ended up somehow with Imogene disowning my dad, me, who was four at the time, and my sister, who was only two years old. Later her disowning of our family would extend to my youngest sister as well, Stephanie, who is 12 years younger than me. In my late twenties, I decided to start working on my family tree and when I got to her side, she refused to talk to me or see me to discuss her side of the tree. My dad was terminally ill in 2003 and passed away in July of 2004 at the age of 50. Neither did she go see him on his death bed, nor did she attend the funeral, much less send flowers or a card. To my knowledge, she never even visited his grave. Yet again, I tried to reach out to her and again to no avail. My grandpa didn’t see any reason why she would refuse to see me as I was only a child when they divorced and she had no reason to hold a grudge against me, but my aunt stated that not only was I not welcome to contact her, but I was not even welcome in her town. Grandpa passed away himself in July of 2008. Every year I have been on the lookout to see if she passed away yet and every year hoping not, hoping that she may yet change her mind.

Within the past week or so, I reached out to my aunt Susan again to ask if her mother was still alive and if she ever asked about me. Susan replied her mother was still alive and no, never asked about me. I then told Susan that I forgive her mother and that I hope she would change her mind and be willing to talk to me before she passed away. Sadly, my aunt Susan contacted me today to tell me that Imogene is on her deathbed and most likely will be gone within the night. It’s sad to think that just as I said this, it happened. It’s sad to see how our family fell apart and how a grudge over something as simple as my father refusing to lie for her in court would result in never talking to her son again or even her own grandchildren. For the last 35 years, I’ve held hate in my heart for Imogene. I’ve never forgiven her for abandoning us, even as I reached out to her. It’s funny that such a thing happened between my mother and I not long after Dad died. Now as I look back, I wonder why I should hold on to such enmity. Why should I hold a grudge and continue this evil spirit of hate in our family. Life is too short and too precious. I decided to forgive all those who have harmed or wronged me in the past and in turn, I pray that anyone I have harmed or wronged will forgive me. I truly hope that this day is not Imogene’s last and I pray that she can get it in her heart to see me even once before she goes. If not, please God, grant her a peaceful death and let her into Heaven with the knowledge that we forgive her.

If you are reading this, I pray you too can reflect back on your past and anyone who has harmed you or wronged you and forgive them. Reach out to those you have done wrong to and ask for forgiveness. Don’t let another day go past so that you may live in peace and prosperity. Here’s to you Imogene… though I’ve refused to call you so for the last 35 years, you are my grandmother. May you go in peace.


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